September192014

If we really love ourselves, how do you love somebody else?

September122014

Anonymous said: What has caused you to hate men so much?

claudiaboleyn:

Funny you should ask! I’ll let you in on my origin story if you like?

Well, once upon a time I was your average, man-loving, non-opinionated, quiet, submissive, totally sexually available young woman. I loved the dudes. I can’t tell you how much I worshipped those blokes. I couldn’t even open a jar back then. Ah, the memories. I shied from the colour blue. I refused to step into a room that contained power tools. Football frightened me into week long seclusions. Don’t get me started on the horror beer brought on. 

And then, one night, I left my window open. It was hot, y’know? I probably shouldn’t have done it. 

But in flew the Misandry Fairy. She was magnificent. As she fluttered into my room she left a trail of glittering misogynist tears that sparkled like diamonds. She wore blood red especially smeary lipstick, the type that scares guys and makes them afraid of kissing you, to ward them off. She had beautifully hairy legs, hairy arms, and wore high waisted shorts (which we all know is the 2014 trend men hate). It wasn’t 2014 at the time, you understand, but she’s a fairy so I assume she looked into the future to find inspiration for her particular misandric look. She was also a lesbian. Because we all know how those lesbians hate men, right? 

"Claudia," she said to me. "It’s time to face your destiny. Inside of you is a burning misandric rage unlike anything the world has ever seen. When you wake up tomorrow, I want you opening jars left right and centre. Open so many jars that the men get jealous. Open so many jars that you and everyone around you are in danger of drowning in the contents. Keep on opening them. No matter what. Never give up." 

I was so shocked that I did not answer. It was the middle of the night and I was unaccustomed to being visited by such wise and noble beings. 

Before she left, she turned around in the air, her fluttering rainbow wings shining in the moonlight, and whispered: “Also, you’re queer. The Coming Out fairy was busy so I took his shift. Have a nice day.” 

The next morning I awoke and began to carry out my purpose. From that day on, men have trembled to see me. Occasionally they whimper “don’t let her near any jars for the love of God”, but most of the time they merely scatter as I enter any vicinity I please. 

I owe her everything. Without her, I would not be the woman I am today. 

This story is 100% true. You can quote me on it and everything. Never let anyone tell you fairies don’t exist. They do. And they’re raging misandrists. 

xxx

September112014

(Source: theartofalbums)

September102014
abunchofdumbasses:

follow for more of that 70s show :)

abunchofdumbasses:

follow for more of that 70s show :)

September92014
jforjacob:

"Hey!"
Charles Chaplin in Modern Times (1936)

jforjacob:

"Hey!"

Charles Chaplin in Modern Times (1936)

4PM

(Source: royal-meow)

4PM
izzytheunicorn:

CCAATTTSSSS :DD

izzytheunicorn:

CCAATTTSSSS :DD

September82014
September72014

Thigh gap

I guess I’ve come to terms with not ever having a thigh gap. I’m okay with it, just wish it wasn’t such a big deal. I hope I drop just tons of weight in Glasgow. It’ll be nice to be in a different environment than my previous university, where I basically just wanted to hibernate and be with only one or two human beings at a time. I am promising myself that I won’t let myself fall into depression like I did in undergrad. I just want to be happy and learn so much and seem approachable.

12AM
12AM
12AM
oviwan:

…

oviwan:

September52014
8PM

morning-s3x:

I love her

(Source: maisewilliams, via sorayachemaly)

September42014
I literally just move one mess from one place to the other. This isn’t even metaphorical, it’s literal. I tried to clean my room but ended up just moving piles of things around. All while listening to ELO. I would include a photo but I’m too embarrassed. I just want to take too many things with me to Europe. I never throw anything away. I have to mentally prepare myself to throw things away before I indulge in cleaning out my belongings. I still have shirts from when I was in fifth grade. Really? I’m like Master from The Brave Little Toaster. Can’t toss anything away. Come find me in Scotland, everything! 

I’ll be waiting. 

Ps. I don’t even like that movie!

I literally just move one mess from one place to the other. This isn’t even metaphorical, it’s literal. I tried to clean my room but ended up just moving piles of things around. All while listening to ELO. I would include a photo but I’m too embarrassed. I just want to take too many things with me to Europe. I never throw anything away. I have to mentally prepare myself to throw things away before I indulge in cleaning out my belongings. I still have shirts from when I was in fifth grade. Really? I’m like Master from The Brave Little Toaster. Can’t toss anything away. Come find me in Scotland, everything!

I’ll be waiting.

Ps. I don’t even like that movie!

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